The old in a New Year

There’s something refreshing about a new year. A thesaurus, the writer’s bible, will talk about words like reinvigorated; reinvented; restored; improved; refreshed and reborn. I’m starting this new year with a major transformation in a personal relationship. I can’t say what this is because it’s a surprise. But as no-one close actually ever reads anything I write it could be safe to tell you. I won’t.

Anyway a new year starts with a certain anticipation. Changes to oneself are usually quietly muttered. These changes may include physical manifestations to improve health, such as losing weight etc or maybe the quiet ramblings mentioned previously that affect us on a inward or mental plane. Either way change is inevitable. Much of that change for some people may be forced upon them by external environs. Some will consciously undertake change. The only problem with change on a personal level is that it’s so subjective and so reliant on a healthy self-esteem. If you don’t have the healthy self-esteem you have to look for guidance. That means listening to someone tell you you are miserly or pig headed or,, you get the picture.

To avoid this you may just work on a template for perfection, like something from the scriptures. Let’s start with forgiveness. I will forgive that person for hurting me over and over again. OK I’m a martyr or in psych speak now a victim. Or I will forgive that person but totally disengage myself from their presence. Is that really forgiveness or is it I hate your guts and I never want to see you again? But forgiveness moves into turning the other cheek so you have to keep showing your cheeks so they can be continually slapped. Sounds like BDSM to me. Then there’s not committing adultery, thats an easy one for me, but a lot of people have a real problem with this one. Now jealousy isn’t that a bad thing? But even God admits to being jealous when he says have no other God but me. All of this agonising over self improvement, can’t be good for the soul.

Luckily over time I have forgiven myself for all my trespasses, forgiven everyone else and this year I can worry about other things, like living until a ripe old age. I turn 50 in a few weeks so now it’s time to really seriously get serious about my health; physical and mental. I couldn’t imagine not being able to read or write or remember, or walk or run. So this year lots of brain food and stimulation and a little less alcohol and stimulants. Sounds like I’m getting old.

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